Confidence, no matter what your goal might be, plays an important role in success. Even the most successful people have setbacks and confidence issues sometimes. How do you keep your confidence high and the uncertainty low?
No matter what your goal—goals in exercise, weight loss, sports, goals in business, or like me, writing, you must believe in yourself and have confidence to move forward. To meet your goals.
There are times I don’t feel like writing, and I think I have nothing to write. So why even try, right? There are times I have this little voice in my head. This is a voice telling me to not write, why bother, I am not good enough. This voice is my sometimes-lack-of-confidence telling me to quit. It is a bad, bad voice.
I refuse to listen to that (stupid) voice in my head that is undermining me. It is not the voice I need to listen to. I hush up that bad voice by sitting in front of my computer and writing. I do what it tells me not to do. I fight fire with words. I show that voice there is no one home to listen.
Confidence, no matter what you are doing, is a teeter zone. I can teeter either way, depending on if I pay attention to the voice.
On those days, I can weigh heavier on the no confidence side. This is truly day-to-day, depending on the volume of the voice. The trick is to keep weighing yourself down with confidence, so the scales tip your way.
How do we do this? What causes the bad voice to become mute?
Here are some confidence-builders to remind yourself that you are enough. You are all you need to meet your goal. Here are some ways to get that confidence back up, hush that bad voice and shut it up for good.
Don’t compare yourself to others
Comparison can be an evil. This will feed that bad voice and turn up its volume. Stay away from comparing. You are enough. No need to compare yourself to someone else and their goals. Your beginning, or middle, will look completely different from someone else’s end. Why would you compare that?
On, Instagram, and all social media, every square is full of perfectness and complete beauty. I try hard not to look at these perfect squares negatively, but instead, I look at them as a form of teaching. When I see a gorgeous home, I look at the picture as a great way to style my living room or decorate my walls. When I see a perfect still life picture, I look at it as a teaching tool in photography, with the angle they used or background of the picture. I try to learn from what inspires me, and from who inspires me, and not be jealous or resentful. I try to get better by using the perfect squares as an example. A goal.
Don’t be so hard on yourself
This one is one I must get better at. Here is where I need the help. We can try hard to do our best every time we attempt what we love. I think creatives have a hard time with this because every time we create something, we are putting a piece of yourself out into the world. For judgement. For failure. Or, for success!
But let’s face it, we all struggle with this. You are enough! We can’t hit the ball out of the ballpark every single time. If we fail, we try again. Right? If we don’t produce perfection every time, which we won’t, it’s okay. It is okay. (Say that out loud!) If we are moving, in a somewhat forward direction, it’s okay to take a step sideways, or backwards, if we straighten up and move forward again. The point is to not stop. Quiet that bad voice.
A perfect example is in weight loss. If we have a bad day, if we fail one day, the point is to start again. Start again at the next meal. Or perhaps, the next day. If we simply give up, we have failed. We need to be gentler with ourselves. We need to forgive ourselves for not being perfect. We need to be kinder to ourselves and let some things go.
Stop over thinking everything
I tend to over think and analyze my numbers too much. I keep track of my readers on each blog post and on Instagram posts. When you market yourself, or anything, you must keep up with the analytics to see how certain posts are rating against other posts. But, they are just numbers and like everything else, too much analyzing, and over thinking is not healthy. This undermines your confidence quickly. The same goes for losing weight, or anything you can track. Just like I stated already, if we are moving in a forward motion, most of the time, it is okay to do a sidestep. Sidestep, don’t stop.
Practice makes perfect
Yep, mamma was right. Practice does help in the perfection direction. It also helps your confidence. In writing, I’m advised to write everyday. Every single day, I am to write something. It can be small or lengthy, but the point is to write to get my confidence up. A page a day keeps the bad voice away!
I try to write daily. Sometimes it is a mini blog on Instagram, some days it is a page in my novel (in the works). Some days, I don’t write. That is when that bad voice comes creeping back in my head. That’s when I quieted it with my words. So, practice, practice to gain confidence.
Anxiety can take over—don’t let it
Being anxious and worrying about the goal, how successful we are and how others see us, is not healthy. Anxiety kills confidence. It isn’t good for our bodies and it isn’t good for our goals. This is another form of that bad voice. It can undermine any type of positive attitude, any level of confidence one might hold. Relax, give it to God, and get back to work. Move forward, remember?
Rest does a body good
Yes, forward motion (towards the goal) is good. Stopping is bad. But resting, taking a pause, stepping away, momentarily, can be helpful. And, healthful. Going non-stop, towards your goal, can be tiring and can lead to burnout. Too much of a good thing can also cause you to quit. Take a rest and when you return, the confidence and motivation to continue moving forward will also return. Motivation and confidence go together.
“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ -Eleanor Roosevelt
Make a list and check it twice
Lastly, when you hear that bad voice, start writing down your accomplishments. Write down things about yourself you have already achieved. You are enough!
Write down your dreams that are now reality. Write them down! Go back to how it felt when you accomplished those goals, and take that energy and apply it to this goal to regain your confidence. Apply it to today and shut that bad voice out! Be confident!You are enough! We can’t hit the ball out of the ballpark every single time. If we fail, we try again. Right? #confidence #dedradaviswrites Click To Tweet
Remember, you are enough. Today and always. You don’t have to be a winner everyday. You don’t have to carry out a goal everyday. Today, you are enough. And tomorrow, you will still be enough. And guess what? Yesterday, yesterday you were also enough!
I hope for you all the confidence in the world. But, if you aren’t that confident, I hope for you to find your confidence, shut out that bad voice and realize you are enough!
love and blessings~dd
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