How I Am Learning to Accept and Love my Body in Pictures

Being a first-time mother, I was filled with joy.

When a first-time mother first learns, she is pregnant, she is filled with such joy. Love, joy, excitement. There are no words to describe.

Danielle Davis has been loved since March 18, 1988, the day I learned I was pregnant. That’s when I knew God made me to be a mother.

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Danni and I at 20 months old

I had never wanted kids before I met Mark. I had never been a baby-lover. I never ohh’d and ahh’d over babies, especially kids. I had never been a baby-sitter. Didn’t care for them really. They just didn’t interest me at all.

Not until I met Mark, we feel in love, got married and then, I couldn’t wait to get pregnant.

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Danni hugging Cameron and Alex

The natural state of motherhood is unselfishness. When you become a mother, you are no longer the center of your own universe. You relinquish that position to your children. Jessica Lange

We didn’t have to wait long.

first-time mother
July 18, 1987

We were married in July of 1987 and I found out I was carrying Danni in March of ‘88. Quick. But I would not change a thing. She was an unplanned, accidental, on-purpose, beautiful thing! This first-time mother feel in love immediately.

“Motherhood: All love begins and ends there.” Robert Browning said it brilliantly, didn’t he?

I also graduated from college in 1988; walked across the stage with three-month-old fetus-Danni in my tummy. Having no confidence to be a journalist and having a husband that had a good job and having a baby on-the-way, I did not look for a job. I babied.

I dreamed. I played. I remember being so excited and in love with her that I would sit in the nursery and dream of holding her. It was such a long nine months. I thought she would never be real.

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My heart! Danni at four months old!

I remember having a beautiful dream of my grandfather, my father’s father, holding her at the head of the table at his house. (The table I never got to sit at because I was always too young.) The whole family was there.  My parents.  My MeeMee and my aunt and uncle. He was holding a baby and I knew it was mine. I said, “Papa, what is it- a boy or a girl?” He just smiled. He looked at her and smiled with such love. But he never spoke. He never told me what gender she was.

This dream was so special to me because my grandfather had died while I was in college. Seeing him hold my baby meant the world to me. When I woke up, I didn’t know her sex but I felt such peace. He did tell me she was ok. I cherish the memory of that dream still today.

Danni was a stubborn one from birth. Over twenty-four hours of labor, two hours of pushing, a fever and dangerously elevated heartbeat, and she was born by cesarean-section.

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Danni, Alex and Cameron, after Alex’s graduation

Mark was with us and as soon as I knew she was alive and healthy, I passed out. I awoke in recovery later, with Mark by my side. He told me, “She is beautiful. A cone-head with hair on her ears, but she’s so beautiful!”

I cried.

Mark later learned Elizabeth Taylor was born with hair on her ears. And of course, it fell off days later. He was right though; she was beautiful even with the hair on her ears.

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Mark and his baby girl

Danni was a joy from day one. Always in a good mood and she was a joy to mother. As a first-time mother, I had a lot of time to devote to her.  That is a benefit of being the first child. She was so smart. She learned everything I taught her and we knew she would be brilliant–and she is.

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Danni, Alex and Cameron, after Alex’s Baylor graduation

Danni is also beautiful. She has always had gorgeous, thin, curly, brown hair and a beautiful smile. She is pretty both on the inside and on the outside.

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Danni, Cameron and I, in London

Danni is kind-hearted and very loyal to those that she loves.

She is my oldest and has had my heart the longest and I adore her, as any mother loves her child. Danni was such a huge help when I had Alex. She didn’t want a baby brother, but she got one and grew to love him instantly. She named her little brother, Addy. We still call him that today, privately and some times not so privately. Danni was an even larger help a year later when I had Cameron. She always loved her baby sister and they are very close still today. She was my big helper, always willing and able.

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My precious family, Mark, Alex, Danni and Cameron, a family wedding, last September.

We raised her to be a self-thinker. She has her own views and beliefs and we are proud of that even when we don’t agree with them.

I have and will always be proud of Danni. She will always have my heart. And she will always have my prayers.

first-time mother
Danni doing a non-Danni thing in San Antonio

God gave me a special child that November day and I thank Him for her every day. I was a blessed first-time mother.

I pray for her and her happiness, safety and health. And I pray for her future-someone that only God knows right now.

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Alex, Danni and Cameron, in Lubbock

When you are a mother of grown children, you still worry and pray for them just like they were still two years old. My mother told me years ago that never goes away and I know she was right. I now know mothers are always right.  I also know that you will never know the love your mother has for you until you have a child of your own.

“Grown don’t mean nothing to a mother. A child is a child. They get bigger, older, but grown. In my heart, it don’t mean a thing.” – Toni Morrison

“Grown don’t mean nothing to a mother. A child is a child. They get bigger, older, but grown. In my heart, it don’t mean a thing.” – Toni Morrison Click To Tweet

Happy birthday, Danielle! I love you!

Love and blessings~dd

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I am a late-in-life journalist that is God-fearing, husband-loving, with three beautiful grown children. I love my dogs, my family and my friends. I love traveling and am also in the process of discovering Waco, after living 20 minutes away since 1998; it is about time! My goal is to grow and push myself daily.

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